Social media told me 'manifesting' would change my life. Instead I became convinced I'd killed my father-in-law for an inheritance
As an emotional Jessica Gunning stepped on to the stage to collect a prestigious Screen Actors Guild award for her role as stalker Martha in Baby Reindeer last month, the 38-year-old’s heartfelt speech was dedicated to the power of manifesting.
‘I used to go into work and look at a PowerPoint presentation with a positive-thinking vision board,’ she said, describing the eight years she worked in an office while dreaming of a successful acting career.
‘There were all the things I wanted to do and all the people I wanted to meet and work with. Cate Blanchett, Jodie Foster and Kathy Bates were on that vision board.’
And these, of course, were the very actresses she was nominated alongside at last month’s ceremony.
When it comes to believing in the power of manifesting, Gunning joins a long list of high-profile women, including Oprah Winfrey, singer Dua Lipa and US Olympic gymnast Simone Biles.
‘Manifesting is a big thing for me,’ Dua Lipa told Time magazine last year. ‘I stand very firmly in the belief of putting things into the world.
‘Subconsciously, you just work towards them. Nothing is ever too big.’
You might be familiar with the concept from the 2006 smash-hit book The Secret, but if you need a refresher, manifesting means trying to get what you want simply by thinking about it, focusing on it intently (this is where vision boards and mantras come into play) and asking the ‘universe’ to ultimately grant it to you.
As well as being named 2024 Word of the Year by the Cambridge Dictionary, which revealed the word was one of the most viewed on their website, ‘manifesting’ has become the decade’s mental wellness buzz-word and a massive TikTok trend with 148million posts on the subject. Social media is exploding with videos of influencers and ‘manifesting coaches’ explaining how they achieve their goals by summoning them via ‘positive vibrations’.
Accepting a Screen Actors Guild award for her performance in Baby Reindeer, actress Jessica Gunning sang the praises of 'manifesting' and positive thinking
However, while visualising your goals can be a positive tool, experts are becoming increasingly concerned about the negative impact manifesting can have on our mental health.
Not only can it be harmful to those who already suffer from anxiety, giving false hope to those who embrace the trend uncritically, there’s also a burgeoning wild west of unregulated ‘manifestation coaches’ who are charging believers for spurious advice.
‘It is utter nonsense,’ says Dr Ute Liersch, of private mental health service The Soke in London, who says manifesting can make people feel they are not good enough and ‘invalidate’ complex emotions. ‘It puts us in what we call in psychology a place of cognitive dissonance, meaning our lived experience and sense-making do not go together.’
The problem with positive thinking or affirmations, she says, is they set people up to fail, while discounting their genuine emotions.
‘It’s telling people their emotions are lying.’ Add to that, Dr Liersch warns, the mantras people are told to chant on a daily basis, as part of ‘calling in’ the power of the universe, can be harmful to those already struggling with their mental health.
‘We have enough research data that says that if the mantra does not link to your reality, it is increasing your mental health difficulties.’
Mental health specialist Dr Ute Liersch says 'manifesting' can set people up to fail
In other words, when you manifest a Ferrari and it inevitably does not appear, leaving you with your old Ford Focus on the driveway, you are only going to become unhappier than you were before.
‘For individuals prone to ruminative thoughts, or those with conditions like obsessive compulsive disorder, these fears may become particularly difficult to manage,’ says clinical psychologist Dr Marianne Trent. ‘Their inability to switch off these thoughts can significantly impact their wellbeing and day-to-day functioning.’
Failing to manifest your desires can also cause people to blame themselves for not trying hard enough or, worse, convince them that they have brought tragedy on themselves, experts say. ‘This cycle of people believing that they’re somehow to blame when bad things happen can increase anxiety and lower self-esteem,’ says cognitive behavioural therapist Clare Flaxen.
She says the belief you are wholly responsible for what life brings is a cause of concern. ‘It is akin to telling a woman in a domestic violence situation that it is her fault, or she has manifested it into her life.’
Lauren*, 47, is a successful businesswoman, who runs a marketing consultancy in Somerset. Articulate, driven and a high-achiever, she is the last person anyone would expect to fall foul of manifesting. But she says what started as a motivational tool quickly became a weapon she used against herself.
She said: ‘I got into it in 2006, writing my manifesting in a special notebook, in table format. I’d manifest things like, “This year, I’m going to get the job of my dreams” or “My husband and I are going to travel to these three places in the next year”.
‘I’d say roughly 80 per cent of my goals would come true. It was about visualising where the job, or holiday, would be and what it would be like, then kind of willing it into existence. At the end of the year, I’d take stock and then project again.’
Like many, Lauren’s ‘manifesting’ practice was in fact rather like drawing up a serious to-do list and then devoting her focus and efforts to it until she could tick each ‘want’ off.
Used like this, mantras and vision boards are simply aids to help people concentrate more powerfully on ambitions in life, and – of course – have no real supernatural effect.
Slowly Lauren found that manifesting began to change for her.
For ten years, she had made it work, but now her projections went from a ‘want’ to a ‘need’ – and the whole practice took on a much darker tone.
‘The manifesting stopped working and I began to grow more desperate and anxious,’ she says. ‘That’s when it took me into dark territory. Everything I was putting into the universe wasn’t coming off, I began to feel increasingly frustrated, desperate and unhappy. I experienced multiple setbacks. A high-paying job came with a bad boss which led to me being highly stressed.
‘I manifested getting pregnant again, because I was turning 40, but suffered two miscarriages.
‘Then in 2019, I manifested for a new job and didn’t get several I was shortlisted for, which rocked me. Then the following year, the pandemic hit and I was made redundant. Now I had no job, my husband was furloughed and we needed money urgently.
‘I had always been the bread-winner, earning a six-figure salary, we had a daughter at private school and we’d recently bought our dream family home, which I was worried we would lose if we couldn’t pay the mortgage. My manifestation began coming from a place of utter desperation. I started manifesting for a windfall. I asked, “Can we get a little bit of cash? Just enough to see us through this?”
‘And it worked! But not in a way I could ever have envisioned. In the middle of the pandemic, my father-in-law died of Covid and the inheritance my husband got solved our financial problems overnight. It wasn’t a huge amount, but it was exactly what we needed to cover our expenses for a year.
'I was utterly devastated and traumatised – I worried I’d made it happen and had manifested his death.
‘My husband told me I was being ridiculous and although, rationally, I know a lot of people died during the pandemic, it did put me into a very dark place. I felt really down and withdrew for a long time. I never manifested again,’ she says.
‘It took me about two years – and post-pandemic – to get myself back into a positive mindset. While many people do manifest successfully, I caution people to be careful. They need to be aware it can send you into a spiral of believing you’re failing and everything’s unfair.’
Equally concerning is the rise of so-called manifesting coaches.
As the trend continues to grow, so does the volume of people peddling manifesting hacks on social media – which can have devastating consequences.
Singer Dua Lipa said last year: ‘Manifesting is a big thing for me. Nothing is ever too big.’
‘It’s a huge problem, because the language is not regulated,’ says Dr Liersch, warning that anyone can call themselves a manifesting coach. ‘Many people are not aware of the difference between a coach, counsellor, psychotherapist and psychologist,’ she says. But it is a life-changing difference, Dr Liersch adds – especially if you go to the wrong person. ‘Therapy is about doing, not just wishing.’
She’s extremely concerned about the influence of manifestation coaches and how people can mistakenly sign-up believing they will solve their problems.
‘You would not believe the people I get in my clinic who have gone through [bad coaches],’ she says. ‘And [because of the rise of social media] it’s getting worse: it’s even easier to sell cheap armchair psychology online.’
There’s an explosion of social media videos selling the idea of happiness, particularly on TikTok, with no clinical basis, Dr Liersch says. In glossy videos, manifestation coaches will show you how you can achieve all your desires – more money, a better home, designer clothes – just by willing them into existence.
Like many influencers, things are not always what they seem with manifesting coaches appearing to have it all, cautions Dr Liersch. ‘It is proliferated from somebody who apparently looks good in the videos – which means they have probably rented an expensive hotel room, and shot a video which says, “Look what I have achieved”.
‘I work with influencers and I have very seldom seen such a broken community.’
After Lauren stopped manifesting, she changed her outlook. ‘Now I wake up daily and say what I’m grateful for,’ she says. ‘I’m more relaxed. I trust everything in life will come in the right time and I just go with it.
‘And it’s interesting, because during that two-year dark period I tried to launch a business, but from a place of desperation, and nothing was happening. I couldn’t get a phone call or a meeting with anybody. And then, you know, when I finally gave up manifesting and went with the flow, I built a very successful business in nine months, without the stress.’
The key to manifesting without anxiety, experts say, is to understand it’s not a passive process.
‘Even if you’re practising manifesting, you still need to be proactive and go after opportunities or make changes in your life. Using it alongside therapy is a positive approach to take,’ says Flaxen.
Be specific about your goals, advises Dr Trent. ‘Write them down, talk about them with friends and family, and make plans for the steps that will help you make progress.’
Finally, by accepting your emotions, says Dr Liersch, and having faith in yourself, only then will you realise your true potential. She adds: ‘Resilience, compassion and strength comes from lived experiences. Only then can we set goals.’
*Name has been changed
THE TELLTALE SIGNS YOU HAVE MANIFESTATION ANXIETY
Here’s how to spot the red flags that you may have a problem, according to Dr Ute Liersch of The Soke private mental health clinic:
Self-blame:You believe you have manifested bad outcomes and events in your life.
Toxic positivity: You are attempting to stay positive all the time, repressing your other emotions.
Compulsive behaviours: You are increasingly performing rituals such as mantras, in order to ward off any negative outcomes.
Poor self-esteem: You feel you have failed, because – despite trying – your manifestion did not come true.
If you suffer from anxiety, visit mind.org.uk
