Relationships are an integral part of life. Whether they be with friends, family or a romantic partner, the bond we form with others helps to not only ground us, but also tends to be the primary source of happiness for most people.
Forging those bonds, however, isn't always easy, because unless it's a family member or longtime friend, getting to know someone takes time and patience.
If there's someone you'd like to learn more about, these questions to ask to get to know someone better are a good place to start.
“Learning about who that person is and trying to find either common ground or something you are curious about can be extremely helpful,” Rachel Hoffman, Chief Clinical Officer at Real, tells TODAY.com
Though shared interests can bring us closer, our differences also serve an important purpose, Hoffman explains. “If anything, learning about their interests and showing curiosity can be helpful in keeping the conversation exciting and intimate.”
One of the best ways to gain insight into others is through thoughtful queries and conversation. From general interest prompts like, “What's your favorite season” to weightier questions on values, life, family and career, this collection of get-to-know-you questions can be helpful in truly understanding someone on a deeper level, as well as learning their likes, dislikes and passions.
Go down the entire list of get-to-know-you questions or select a handful of these queries to include in your next sit-down. Either way, by the time you're through, you'll have gained a new appreciation for the person across from you.
Best get to know you questions
- If you could have lunch with one person, past or present, who would it be and why?
- What’s your favorite quote or mantra and why?
- What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?
- What’s your favorite way to spend a day off?
- How do you de-stress after a tough day?
- What’s your attachment style?
- If you had to redo one year of your life, which one would it be and why?
- What was a major turning point in your life that got you here?
- What are your favorite hobbies?
- What is it about that hobby that you find so interesting?
- Do you have any pets?
- What’s your favorite season?
- Do you have a favorite holiday?
- What’s your zodiac sign?
- Are you an introvert or extrovert?
- What was your favorite childhood movie?
- What are you currently reading?
- Who is your favorite author?
- What was your favorite book growing up?
- If you could be any character in a book, who would it be?
- What’s one book that would make a really great movie?
- What was the last movie you saw?
- Who is your favorite actor and actress?
- Have you ever met anyone famous?
- Who is your celebrity crush?
- If you had to choose an “era” for this season of your life, what would it be called?
Values
- If you had all the money in the world, how would you spend your time?
- Are you more of a work-to-live or live-to-work kind of person? How so?
- What’s something you’d like to learn?
- What are you most proud of?
- Are there any causes that you are passionate about? If so, why?
- What do you like best about yourself?
- Do you believe in fate?
- If you had one superpower, what would it be?
- Who would you want to play you in a movie?
- What’s your favorite part of your day?
- How do you unwind at the end of the day?
- If you could have dinner with three people, living or deceased, who would they be?
- Who inspires you most?
- What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
- Who never fails to make you laugh?
- When you’re feeling down, what always cheers you up?
- What’s your guilty pleasure?
- If you could swap places with one person for a day, who would it be?
- What’s your biggest fear?
- Do you have any pet peeves?
- What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?
- What are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?
- What is the lesson that you have learned in the past year?
- What is the best advice you have been given?
Career
- What was your first job?
- What line of work are you in?
- If you could be an expert/professional at anything, what would it be?
- As a child, what job did you want to have?
- What is one negative job experience that left its mark on you?
- What is one positive job experience that left its mark on you?
- What is one job that you interviewed for and didn't get?
- What is a typical workday at your current job involve?
- What is the biggest challenge of your job?
- What is your biggest career regret?
- Do you enjoy your work?
- How do you maintain a work-life balance?
- What is your biggest career accomplishment thus far?
- On a typical workday, who do you go to lunch with?
- Do you work remote or in an office?
Family and friends
- What is one thing that you strive to do to be a good friend?
- Are you still close with your college friends?
- Are you still friends with anyone from your hometown?
- How do you typically celebrate your birthday and other holidays?
- What’s your relationship like with your family?
- Do you have any siblings?
- What do your three closest friends have in common?
- What’s your friend/roommate/date like?
- How long have the two of you been friends?
- What’s your favorite meal your parents and/or grandparents make?
- What’s your favorite family tradition?
- Who was your best childhood friend?
- Which of your family members are you the closest to?
- Would you go on an extended vacation with your family?
- Which of your family members do you look most alike?
Relationships and love
- What’s your love language?
- What are you looking for in the dating process?
- What are the qualities you most admire in a partner?
- What’s the worst date you’ve ever had?
- What’s the best date you’ve ever had and why?
- What have you learned about yourself from past relationships?
- What qualities do you admire about other people’s relationships?
- Who is one person in your life that you wish you knew better?
- Who is the first person you want to call when you get good news and why?
- Do you think common interests or common values are the key to people getting along?
- Who was your first crush?
- Who was your first kiss?
- Have you ever had your heart broken?
- What is your ideal date night?
Travel and experience
- If you could time travel, would you go into the past or future?
- Do you have any upcoming trips planned?
- Have you ever been out of the country?
- What’s the most remote location you have ever been to?
- What’s the most memorable place you’ve visited?
- What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to and why?
- What genre of music do you listen to?
- Do you play any instruments?
- Do you like art?
- Have you been to any new art exhibits or galleries lately?
- What’s your favorite museum?
- Is there a museum and/or art installation you want to check out?
- Have you ever been to Disney World?
- Do you have a favorite Disney character?
- On vacation, are you a planner or do you prefer to go with the flow?
- What is an activity that seems mundane to everyone else, but you really enjoy?
- What is one activity that you have on your bucket list?
- If you could retire anywhere, where would you choose?
- Do you speak another language? If so, which one(s)?
- Do you prefer a vacation or staycation?
Likes and dislikes
- What do you like to do for fun?
- Calling or texting?
- Are you a city person or a country person?
- Are you an early bird or a night owl?
- Deep dish pizza or thin crust?
- Summer or autumn?
- Winter or spring?
- Skiing or jet skiing?
- Beach or mountains?
- What’s your favorite aisle in the grocery store?
- Pancakes or french toast?
- Instagram or TikTok?
- Country or rock ‘n’ roll?
- Walking or running?
- Halloween or Christmas?
Random get to know you questions
- Do you like your name? If not, what would you prefer?
- What did you do this past weekend?
- What’s your ideal sandwich?
- What would you like to ask me?
- What’s your dream car?
- What shows are on your Netflix queue?
- Do you have a hidden party trick?
- Which Hogwarts house do you belong in?
- Do you believe in magic?
- Do you believe in ghosts?
- Have you ever encountered any paranormal or supernatural spirits?
- Which Avenger do you most identify with and why?
- Do you eat ice cream in a bowl, right out of the pint, or in a cone?
- If you were an ice cream flavor, which one would you be?
- If you could make an ice cream flavor taste like any feeling, what would you choose?
- What is the best experience you have had in the shoes you are currently wearing?
- What is your favorite dish to make?
- What is your best dad joke?
- Do you listen to music for the lyrics or just for the beat?
- What is your favorite way to treat yourself?
- If you could be any animal, which one would you be?
