Jo Hemmings

Recently, I looked a client in the eye - his wife was seated alongside him - and asked: 'Have you ever been unfaithful? Both in their 40s, they'd come to me ostensibly because their sex life had dwindled to nothing; the husband was claiming to have lost his once-healthy libido overnight, yet refused to discuss this with his doctor. She, of course, felt rejected and hurt, blaming herself for gaining weight and focusing more on their children than him. She thought therapy would help get to the root of why he'd gone off sex, so they could rekindle their passion for each other. But the alarmed look on his face when I asked that question; the way he glanced, panic-stricken, between his wife and me, provided an answer she hadn't even considered: that he was sleeping with someone else. 'I thought you'd just stopped fancying me,' she exclaimed. The devastating truth was he had been having an affair with a colleague for the past six months and felt that having sex with both of them would feel like an even greater betrayal...read