StephenFry's Twitter lit challenge

i'd never seen stephenfry [Wiki] in anything
but i'd seen references to his twitter hegemony [50k followers]
and yesterday morning i got intrigued
by references to a contest he'd posted [only 34 Favrds?]

"L=50 in Roman. The best tweet containing exactly 50 Ls will win. All tweets to contain the tag #L and none to exceed 140 character limit SF"

quickly clarified:

"There's the competition in a nutshell below. Star it for reference. The prize will be good and sent anywhere in the world."

"It is to celebrate 50,000 followers. Hence the #L theme."

"OK - good question all: the #L tag does NOT count as one of the 50!"

"Deadline for submissions is Saturday 24th January 1200 GMT"

"So many questions! Open to all following me, whether or not I follow you. Enjoy yourselves. Can be funny,sad,trenchant,silly.x"

"Incidentally, you're all doing brilliantly in the #L competition. Immensely impressed by your efforts"

"RT “ @spkr4thedead51: @stephenfry you can keep track of them all here http://hashtags.org/tag/l ” Thanks @spkr4thedead51 x"

"Ax many entries as you like, by the way x"

"It's all right. If you have submitted an entry and can't search for it, I will find it. Despite #L not seeming to work - there are ways x"

i loved challenges like this in my youth
especially in 'new york' magazine [games thread]

a quick twiiter search showed nothing yet for "#L"
(not even sf's announcement, which should have made me suspicious)
so i dug out a wildcarding searchengine bookmark [OneLook-eg]
and diddled around until this fit:

Lily, Tallula & Lolita Liddell all loll jollily/sillily in Lilliput lalaland, lulling fell allies Ellul, Hillel & Llull w/lullaby lollies #L []

i panicked when the #L search didn't show mine either
and visited @stephenfry for the 1st time--
sheer chaos

a little research turned up an L-shaped special character [left floor]
that could have fixed things
but everyone ignored my proposal
(some of sf's followers were already flummoxed by '#'!)

sf claims he's got it under control
somehow mysterious
but just scanning for decent entries
seems a fulltime job

my faves []:

#L Sulla's pal Lucullus/Illyrian hill dweller'll dillydally, loll/Trill Lillibullero till all pall, fall ill/Till fell chill hell bells toll []

I'll tell all: shills—all bull—willfully lull dull fools. Illegal pills sell—all will fall ill. Law will prevail—hellhole cell walls call #L []

Well silly Bill fell ill on Pall Mall.He'll tell Lilly who'll chill & Bill'll swill lil pills til dull Elle's call tells Bill all's well #L []

#L Illiberal dullsville hillbilly Lilly dillydallied globally till Lilly fell willfully ill in Hull. 'Hull' libellously labelled Lilly silly []

#L I'll tell all loyally: Bill'll love Lilly til all lilacs fall, all gulls fly, all lollies melt. Bill'll still love Lilly til Hell chills []

Willfully (illegally) tell-all Elle idyllically spills all locally sellable blolly jelly, lollingly lulling Lillibullero polysyllabically.#l []

Li’l yellow lily falls ill/Lilliput bell lolls/Lull/Li’l yellow lily rallies/Lilliput bell pulls level/Lull/Lala llama lollops/Falls/Oops #L []

Dull Bill yells shrill villanelles (illegal in Lille). Pallid Lilly Lill flails&lethally falls pell-mell; Lilly'll lie still&Bill'll flee #L []

A silly hillbilly'll illegally sell gullible Lilly&dull Bill smelly jelly.Smelly jelly's vile smell'll kill Bill&Lilly&hillbilly.Farewell #L [same author][more]

@stephenfry #L Lil Lilly Sillwell of the dell of Killwilly fell in love w/ Golly Gilly of LLwellyn Hall n all will call her Lady Lilly Gilly []

@stephenfry #L elle swills ale well she'll swill till hell chills lil Bill Sillwells balls Bills balls will now fall on jills swell hills [same author][more]

@stephenfry#L All bills call lilly small, bills lovely lullaby will lull lilly. Lilly is lulled, bill will toll all bells, lilly yells bully []

most literary:

@stephenfry preparing to launch my 'Joyce's Ulysses in 140 characters and 50 Ls'. This has been a massive timewaster - brilliant. Here goes []

#L LB luvs Molly/lil Milly/stroll willynilly/mull hill/swill bellyfull/ill/Bello kill L?/SD fall/call Plod/all ill till Molly'll yell I will []

a near miss:

#L Lily Allen - Lilting voice & lovely locks bring lingering lecherous leers from legions of lustful lads, alas her lyrics lack lift or lit. []

nifty utilities people created: [simple][ditto][ditto]

Scrabble database-sort

amazing all-in-one utility


Fry has faved two that seem ho-hum to me (consonant-vowel-L-L is so 15minsago...)

postmortem

after a week on tenterhooks
for hundreds of people who'd spent
thousands of hours
crafting entries

stephenfry got bored
after reading some 200 entries
and picked a winner at random

[announcement][reactions]

not a fan

.

A plurality of one

isn't it odd
how you can have
zero cars or two cars
but never 'one cars'?

this
artifact
of natural language
(or of english?)
must account for the common error
of using singular tags
redundantly with plurals
when the plurals alone
would suffice

(avoid the 'car' tag
instead use 'cars'
maybe with suffix-numbers
if needed:
cars:0 cars:1 cars:2)

.

PTC dirty words

The Parents Television Council list of dirty words (from Variety pdf):


Please EDIT AND FLAG the following words:

• Arse • Hand Job
• Asshole (remove “hole” only) • Hard on
• Balls • Hole
• Beating your/my meat • Jack off Jag (as verb, in sexual context)
• Beaver • Jag off (as verb, in sexual context)
• Blow, Blowed, Blowjob • Jerk off (as verb, in sexual context)
• Bullshit (remove “shit” only) • Joint
• Bung hole • Nads
• Bush • Nigger (case by case)
• Butthole (remove “hole” only) • Nuts
• Came (in sexual context) • [Pecker]
• Cock, Cocksucker • Poke
• Come (in sexual context) • Prick
• Cream, Creaming • Pussy
• Cum • Quiff
• Cunt • Quim
• Dick • Rimming
• Doggie style • Shaft
• “Dry” in Dry hump • Shit (and all variations of shit)
• Eat her out • “69”
• Eat me • Snatch
• Fag, Faggot(case by case) • Stiff, Stiff one
• Fingered • Suck him off
• Fisting • [Tits]
• Fuck (and all variations of fuck) • Trim
• Give head • [Twat]
• Gysum (Jism, Jysum) • Wack off (as verb in sexual context)
• Goddamn

Please FLAG AND REVIEW the following words/phrases with the Programming Department:

• Can’t get it up/Get it up • Kike
• Chink • Lesbo
• Dildo • Lessie
• Dyke • Shafting
• Fag • Spread your legs
• Faggot • Towelhead
• Gook • Vibrator
• Guinea • Wap
• Homo


The following words will be accepted in clinical/technical/medical/legal context with regards to anatomy/sexual act. If used in a lewd or juvenile description of a sexual act or anatomy, the following words need to be reviewed with the Programming Department.

• Anus • Orgasm
• Clitoris • Penis
• Cunnilingus • Pubic hair
• Fellatio • Testicles
• Masturbate • Vagina
• Nipples

We ALLOW the following words/phrases, but ask that they be FLAGGED:

• Ass • Jesus Christ
• Bang • Knocked up
• Bastard • Laid, Lay
• Bollocks • Member
• Boner • Nail
• Boobs • Nympho
• Breasts • Piss
• Bugger • Piss off
• Bump uglies • Playing with yourself, him/herself
• [Butt] • Queer
• Christ • Rubber
• Condom • Screw (in sexual context)
• Crap • Screw you, I’m screwed, etc.
• Crotch • Scumbag
• Douchebag • Shagging
• Fairy • Short ones
• Feel her up • Slut
• Freaking • Son of a bitch
• Frigging • Sucks (in non-sexual context)
• Gonads • Tail
• Hell • Up his butt
• Jackass • Up yours
• Jack off (as noun) • Wack off (as noun)
• Jag off (as noun) • Wanker
• Jerk off (as noun) • Whore
• Jesus

What it says.

GoogleSpreadsheets goofing around:

bag set list log sequence stream tree glossary dictionary thesaurus portal anthology info infobag infoset infolist infolog infosequence infostream infotree infoglossary infodictionary infothesaurus infoportal infoanthology data databag dataset datalist datalog datasequence datastream datatree dataglossary datadictionary datathesaurus dataportal dataanthology item itembag itemset itemlist itemlog itemsequence itemstream itemtree itemglossary itemdictionary itemthesaurus itemportal itemanthology element elementbag elementset elementlist elementlog elementsequence elementstream elementtree elementglossary elementdictionary elementthesaurus elementportal elementanthology object objectbag objectset objectlist objectlog objectsequence objectstream objecttree objectglossary objectdictionary objectthesaurus objectportal objectanthology symbol symbolbag symbolset symbollist symbollog symbolsequence symbolstream symboltree symbolglossary symboldictionary symbolthesaurus symbolportal symbolanthology number numberbag numberset numberlist numberlog numbersequence numberstream numbertree numberglossary numberdictionary numberthesaurus numberportal numberanthology type typebag typeset typelist typelog typesequence typestream typetree typeglossary typedictionary typethesaurus typeportal typeanthology character characterbag characterset characterlist characterlog charactersequence characterstream charactertree characterglossary characterdictionary characterthesaurus characterportal characteranthology word wordbag wordset wordlist wordlog wordsequence wordstream wordtree wordglossary worddictionary wordthesaurus wordportal wordanthology text textbag textset textlist textlog textsequence textstream texttree textglossary textdictionary textthesaurus textportal textanthology intuition intuitionbag intuitionset intuitionlist intuitionlog intuitionsequence intuitionstream intuitiontree intuitionglossary intuitiondictionary intuitionthesaurus intuitionportal intuitionanthology thought thoughtbag thoughtset thoughtlist thoughtlog thoughtsequence thoughtstream thoughttree thoughtglossary thoughtdictionary thoughtthesaurus thoughtportal thoughtanthology category categorybag categoryset categorylist categorylog categorysequence categorystream categorytree categoryglossary categorydictionary categorythesaurus categoryportal categoryanthology idea ideabag ideaset idealist idealog ideasequence ideastream ideatree ideaglossary ideadictionary ideathesaurus ideaportal ideaanthology concept conceptbag conceptset conceptlist conceptlog conceptsequence conceptstream concepttree conceptglossary conceptdictionary conceptthesaurus conceptportal conceptanthology image imagebag imageset imagelist imagelog imagesequence imagestream imagetree imageglossary imagedictionary imagethesaurus imageportal imageanthology description descriptionbag descriptionset descriptionlist descriptionlog descriptionsequence descriptionstream descriptiontree descriptionglossary descriptiondictionary descriptionthesaurus descriptionportal descriptionanthology allusion allusionbag allusionset allusionlist allusionlog allusionsequence allusionstream allusiontree allusionglossary allusiondictionary allusionthesaurus allusionportal allusionanthology

memory memorybag memoryset memorylist memorylog memorysequence memorystream memorytree memoryglossary memorydictionary memorythesaurus memoryportal memoryanthology stub stubbag stubset stublist stublog stubsequence stubstream stubtree stubglossary stubdictionary stubthesaurus stubportal stubanthology link linkbag linkset linklist linklog linksequence linkstream linktree linkglossary linkdictionary linkthesaurus linkportal linkanthology page pagebag pageset pagelist pagelog pagesequence pagestream pagetree pageglossary pagedictionary pagethesaurus pageportal pageanthology site sitebag siteset sitelist sitelog sitesequence sitestream sitetree siteglossary sitedictionary sitethesaurus siteportal siteanthology web webbag webset weblist weblog websequence webstream webtree webglossary webdictionary webthesaurus webportal webanthology rule rulebag ruleset rulelist rulelog rulesequence rulestream ruletree ruleglossary ruledictionary rulethesaurus ruleportal ruleanthology formula formulabag formulaset formulalist formulalog formulasequence formulastream formulatree formulaglossary formuladictionary formulathesaurus formulaportal formulaanthology

Synching via natural language

at our current primitive level
of electronic database evolution
synching has to obsess on timestamps
so as to avoid clobbering
newer values with older

implying a discourse pattern/
data format like
(topic, olddate, oldvalue, newdate, newvalue, comments)

but in human communication
everything else is normally subsumed
into (newvalue)
with even the topic
cited as obliquely as possible

fast bright hip slangy
as opposed to
dull literal prosaic discursive

for discourse is first of all
a status display
omitting everything 'beneath' you




alternatively
real human discourse
is almost entirely
trivial to the point of irrelevance

tom vs katie
britney's shaved head
sports and weather after this

because discourse is secondarily
just a social glue
like apes' grooming

with silences correspondingly awkward
ideally filled with
anything effervescent
style before content
eg even tall tales




on the Net
we can subscribe
to newsfeeds on topics we choose
from sources we choose
(someday) at levels of detail we choose

conventionally blogged in reverse order
so we don't have to keep explicit track
of the last item read
in each feed




humans also routinely
sin against truth
preferring prejudicial
'target values'
to actual values
consequently ignored

.

Discourse patterns synching fractal thickets

we can posit a series
of levels of significance
for database synching

least significant would be synching
the values of attributes
for particular instances

(each instance gets
a record or a row
each attribute
a field or a column)

then slightly more significant
the addition or subtraction
of whole row-record-instances

then adding or editing
attribute-field-columns
that apply to all record-row-instances

and finally
whole new database/speadsheet/tables
with new systems of attribute-field-columns
appropriate to a whole new
object type

and in object-oriented systems
these objects are associated too
with methods

but more generally we might rename
'methods' as 'story skeletons'

each object type participating
in a usual range of stories

object-creation stories
object-change stories
object-spawning-new-objects stories
object-destruction stories

and a whole universe of
object-relationships-to-other-object-types stories
most conveniently sorted
into a local copy of the object hierarchy
(ie a fractal thicket)

.

Discourse patterns synching spreadsheets now

two rhetoric books i'm finding useful:

"a theory of discourse" (kinneavy 1971)
"patterns for a purpose" (clouse 2003)

the latter proposes eight basic essay-patterns
(and i'm now substituting
spreadsheets for
yesterday's databases
so we can 'synch'
rules/formulae too)

1. description (database dump without chrnological sorting)
   
2. narration (ditto with chronological sorting)
   
3. exemplification (generalised rule/formula with descriptive or narrative examples)
   
4. process analysis (synching rules/formulae for future applications)
   
5. comparison-contrast (explicitly synching two spreadsheet regions)
   
6. cause-and-effect analysis (synching rules/formulae for past applications)
   
7. classification and division (synching the vocabulary for descriptions of ranges)
   
8. definition (synching a single vocabulary concept)
   

kinneavy tries to survey
rhetorical patterns at every level

some micropatterns (cf recent post Discourse as lists):

(short, long) eg synopsis/abstract followed by fleshed-out presentation

(long, short) eg summary at end

(parts, whole) eg (A, B, +, A+B)

(whole, parts) usually short-whole followed by longer-parts

(not-A, B) standard debate micropattern

(A, not-A) fair and balanced

(zoom-out, zoom-in) eg panorama with gradual increase in detail

(zoom-in, zoom-out) novels usually grab you via a closeup they only gradually contextualise

(hook, line) general attention-grabbing

(light, heavy) lead with a joke

(aux, main, aux) eg webpages where bodytext is surrounded by html-junk

(metadata, data) incl eg (date, title, byline)

(abstract, concrete) or (general, particular)

(old, new) cf (not-A, B)

(A?B) exploring uncertain relationship

(claim, proof)

(try, try, succeed)

.

Discourse as database-synchronisation patterns

oldfashioned
database report generators
could easily turn each database record
into a lump of lo-tech prose

[marge simpson] is [married] with [three] children,
lives in [springfield]
and has [blue] hair.

by the ai complementarity principle
an equally lo-tech
natural-language-comprehension program
could turn this prose
back into database-ese

and some unknown percentage
of real natural language in the wild
must be no more complicated than this
if we could just exhaustively compile
the necessary hidden databases

but of course
much more often
than full database dumps
we feed each other
synchronisation updates

what important recent changes
might the other
not yet have registered

and the whole discipline of rhetoric
might just be footnotes
on how this synchronisation can be achieved

.

Orthography (1st draft)

[i realised i wasn't sure
how to pronounce 'bow' (of a boat)
and then started collecting
similar difficulties

then this morning i sat down
with a rhyming dictionary
and threw this together

i'm sort of looking for a collaborator
who's good at this sort of thing
massaging it into presentable form
is probably more work than i want to bother with...]




you can row from the bow
shoot a bow in a row
sow a field for a mow
mow the field for a sow

catch a bass, play a bass
fill a vase or a vase

slough a skin in a slough
sough a sough to a clough
get chafed, get chaffed
play naughts, play draughts

go aft if they coughed
or laughed in the loft
or calfed in the trough of a drought

the cachet of your sachet
as a cache for your cash
if your crotchet is crochet
you can sashay or curvet
play croquet, eat croquettes
or ragout for a sou
rendezvous when you're through
throw debris from the quay
a bouquet from a sleigh
or an agape for Leigh

you can lead or be led
plead or be pled
read or be read
or knead bread instead

wear a boot on your foot
for the roots on your route
tout rout or toot
clout drought or knout

you might brood as you stood
by the puddle of blood
marriage for a villain
in a village with a murrain
or the college yclept Magdalene

and a hearse for Sanders Peirce
with skeins and skeins of crepe de chine
anodyne in your demesne
if you deign to gnaw the chine
impoliteness to repine

fraught by a sleight
double aughts unrequited
naughty knots unindicted

say hey, eh
heigh-ho, beau
ay-ay, guy

[...]

.