When Dame Denise Lewis looks at the iconic black-and-white photograph of her taken shortly after she’d won gold in the heptathlon at the 2000 Sydney Olympics, it brings up a lot of feelings.
‘I’m such a different person to that young woman,’ she says of the image, which once hung in the National Portrait Gallery, ‘Even though I was at the height of my career, there’s been so much growth since. That image shows my body at its most powerful. I still feel powerful, but in a different way. The strength comes from the journey. I’m 52 and I feel better than ever.’
In a corner of the studio where we’re recreating that famous shot, she settles down with a green tea. Relaxed, in a denim shirt and jeans, she still has a Midlands lilt from her Wolverhampton childhood. And, 25 years on, she’s taking stock.
Swimsuit, Eres
‘All the layers that I’ve added to my life since then; being a mother, a wife, working out my career. Although it was my decision to retire from athletics, I was totally floored by losing that identity,’ she says. ‘Everything was wrapped up in the body, the preparation, the daily routines. It’s taken until this point to… I don’t want to say “reinvent myself”, but I feel that I’m back.’
When a male publicist attempts to sit in on our interview, she waves him away. Denise Lewis can look after herself, thanks. She certainly looks as fit as she did 25 years ago, those abs particularly impressive when you consider she has since had four children. But she says she no longer works out like an athlete; ‘I don’t do the Olympic lifting that I used to,’ she says. ‘I still lift, but I do more functional training now and cardio. I’ve also added yoga, which I like because it’s about finding stillness when you feel stressed.’ (Midlife women, she continues, need strength training for muscle mass and bone health.)
She’s also written a book, Adaptability: Seven Lessons to Thrive in a World of Competing Demands. Part memoir, part self-help handbook, it takes everything she’s learnt and translates it into practical, relatable advice. ‘I’ve always had to adapt,’ she says. ‘You have to in this world, or you stagnate.’ After all, the heptathlon is about adaptability – one day you’re hurtling over 100-metre hurdles, the next you’re flinging javelins down a field.
For Lewis, the Sydney Olympics was a turning point. In light drizzle, and struggling with both a crippling calf and an achilles injury, she pushed through excruciating pain, taking enough points from the final 800-metre race to win Britain’s first Olympic athletics gold medal in eight years. Was there for her a sense of ‘Where do I go from here?’
At the Sydney Olympics, 2000
‘There is an element of that,’ she admits.
‘I recall sitting on the bus back to the Olympic Village having done all the press interviews. The lights had gone down in the stadium, and I felt like, well, I’ve done it. And then there is just an abyss.’
It was 1.30am by the time she got back to the Olympic Village. ‘I didn’t think I’d see anyone,’ she recalls. ‘But there were my girls silently cheering, trying not to wake anyone. They gave me a teeny bottle of bubbly then went to bed because they were still competing. So I drank the champers, placed my medal on the pillow next to me, and literally watched it all night.’ These days it is ‘safely tucked away’ but now she says, ‘I feel I’m so much more than the medal.’
A year after winning that gold medal Lewis was pregnant with her daughter, Lauryn (now 23), whose father is Belgian sprinter Patrick Stevens. Lewis and Stevens split in 2005, 18 months after Lauryn was born.
‘He was a lovely guy and a great dad, but I couldn’t see a future with him in my life,’ Lewis writes in her book. In 2006 she married music manager Steve Finan O’Connor in a low-key wedding, having been introduced by friends.
They have three sons: Ryan, 19, Kane, 16, and Troy, six. How does she reconcile her innate competitiveness with the messy reality of family life? It’s ‘a different language’, she says. ‘In the beginning I was very much about trying to do the best in everything, but now I’ve learnt to slow down.’
With husband Steve, Lauryn, Ryan, Kane and baby Troy, 2019
It’s been a difficult few years for the family, with her husband losing his father, comedian and TV host Tom O’Connor, in 2021. Then, last year, singer Liam Payne died aged 31. Finan O’Connor had been his manager for eight years, although many didn’t realise how close the One Direction star was to their family until Lewis posted a tribute on Instagram. ‘Thank you for being so sweet with my kids,’ she wrote, revealing a side of Payne that many didn’t see. ‘The big kid in you always knew what to say to make them laugh.’
When I bring it up her eyes fill with tears. ‘It’s difficult to talk about. Liam was a very firm family friend.’ Finan O’Connor, in particular, has struggled with his ‘mental wellness… we’ve had bereavements, and it’s stressful. It’s impacted him greatly, and us all as a family.’
Last November it was reported that the couple were on the verge of separating after 18 years of marriage. ‘I don’t think that has much to do with the book,’ she says. But she tells me it took some ‘soul searching’ to work out her identity as a mother and wife.
She’s very independent – perhaps frustratingly so for her husband. ‘That comes from my early life, watching Mum trying to provide a roof over our heads, working tirelessly, with no one to rely on,’ she remembers. Joan was just 17 when she had Lewis in 1972, after being kicked out of her parents’ home for having a child out of wedlock. She got a house in West Bromwich, left her girl in a nursery in the morning and collected her after work (she had two jobs as a care worker and as a special-educational-needs teacher). ‘I had to grow up quickly as the other part of that team,’ says Lewis.
Nine years into her marriage to Finan O’Connor, Lewis felt burnt out as a working mum, travelling all over the world as a TV pundit and the president of Commonwealth Games England. She also felt unsupported in her relationship. The two had counselling and now make time to walk together – side-by-side conversations are more effective than trying to talk over the breakfast table amid the chaos of a busy household. ‘Despite our problems, I’m really pleased with how we learned to communicate,’ she says.
Dress, Georgia Hardinge
When it comes to dealing with big emotions, Lewis says her directness and focus as an athlete come into play. ‘I’ll be like, “What’s the problem? Let’s get on with it and fix it,”’ she says. ‘That doesn’t necessarily suit other people; it definitely doesn’t suit Steve. He needs space and time. We have to find a middle ground to deal with that.’
Having three boys at home, of course, brings a range of other challenges. One of her boys – she doesn’t wish to name them – is neurodivergent and on medication for ADHD, so received special-educational-needs support at school. She says it’s been a case of learning about the neurodivergent spectrum. ‘No one gives you a manual,’ she says. ‘No one talks to you about what type of child you’re going to get.’
Lewis also noticed that her youngest was overwhelmed by parties when he was younger. ‘So rather than him hiding in a room, distressed, we adapted,’ she says. ‘I built his confidence slowly by doing social activities one friend at a time. Now he’s able to go to parties and enjoy himself.’
Lewis was 46 when Troy was born. She has said before that ‘he was a huge surprise,’ telling ITV’s Lorraine Kelly, ‘We thought we were past going for another. I thought I was entering menopause and, lo and behold, there he was!’
She tells me today that the main difference between having a baby at 46 and one at 29 is the confidence to do it her way. For instance, she insisted that her husband would sleep in a separate room and deal solely with the elder boys; she would focus on bonding with Troy and getting some rest and be back at work in two months. ‘I wanted a clear head. Good energy. And it worked a treat.’
Elected president of UK Athletics in late 2023, Lewis left the BBC in 2024 following a 15-year career as a sports pundit. ‘I loved my job at the BBC but I couldn’t do both. Sometimes you’ve gotta move on. And I’m so passionate about the sport that has given me everything. Back in Wolverhampton, athletics gave me a sense of belonging.’
With the next Olympics scheduled to take place in Los Angeles in 2028, the big news in the US is that President Trump has signed an executive order banning trans athletes from women’s sports. It’s a controversial debate and Lewis is understandably careful in her language. ‘UK Athletics is trying to learn from the trans community about how we can make it work for everybody,’ she says. ‘Women competitors want to protect women’s sport. At the same time, the trans community wants to be part of that. It’s an ongoing conversation. We want to make it as fair as possible.’
It’s a tough one, but Lewis can do tough. She knows all about overcoming adversity and having the courage of your convictions. ‘In male-dominated spaces I’m often the only woman,’ she says, ‘and the only woman of colour. So you’ve got to be confident in who you are.’
As for what others say about her, Lewis is pragmatic. ‘I realised that adulation can be as temporary as a shooting star,’ she says. Just 11 months after her Sydney success she was being called a quitter for pulling out of the chance to defend her gold at the world championships. Max Jones, manager of the Great Britain team, suggested that the athlete had partied for too long after winning in Sydney. ‘I told myself: don’t get swept along with either narrative, positive or negative. Choose the labels you want for yourself, not what people put on you. It’s hard, but I’ve done hard.’
She’s adamant that we can all achieve what we want as long as we focus on it and are not afraid to ask for help. ‘Set your intentions,’ she says. ‘Let it be known: this is what I want. Find your support system. And make it happen.’
Becoming a motivational guru, thanks to her book, seems the perfect pivot.
Despite my advancing years, I feel satisfied and happy with the person I see looking back at me in the mirror. I love the fact that I’ve taken care of myself and am ageing into my skin. What surprises me is how young I appear in the original picture. The air of innocence. There’s an element of vulnerability in that original picture. With the new picture I see strength. I see a woman who understands herself more, and that doesn’t surprise me – it empowers me. There’s experience in that face by comparison with the young girl who was winning medals. Despite being 28 , there’s still so much to see and learn and do.
Adaptability: Seven Lessons to Thrive in a World of Competing Demands by Denise Lewis will be published on 13 March by Piatkus, £25. To pre-order a copy for £21.25 until 23 March, go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937. Free UK delivery on orders over £25.
Picture director: Ester Malloy
Stylist: Gemma Hayward
Hair and make-up: Kellie Licorish using YSL beauty and Weleda