8am London Paddington
We’re off for a fun day out on London’s newest tube extension, the Elizabeth Line, 33 years in the making and built at a cost of £18.5 billion. Oh, except we’re not, because the train is delayed. Coffees and a chat on the platform it is, then.
8.29am (finally leaving) London Paddington
Grandeur design: Cliveden House in Berkshire
9.08am Maidenhead
From Maidenhead station, we set off on a brisk stroll along the river to The Boathouse at Boulters Lock for eggs, salmon and more coffee. It’s a lovely spot, with wraparound views of the River Thames looking uncharacteristically peaceful. The waiter thinks we are on a hen do, but we explain that this is a serious work assignment, while munching on the complimentary bowl of Smarties he’s placed in the middle of the table.
Part of the Maidenhead you crew, from left: Maddy, Scarlett and Joanne
11.30am Chiltern Valley Winery & Brewery
We arrive at this small vineyard, avoiding minor disaster when our taxi driver tries to drop us off at a private house in the woods two miles away (rural satnav, a shock to us all).
First up a tour, led by no-nonsense guide Victoria. The initial vines were planted here in 1982 on the slopes of the Chiltern Hills. Since then, the team has produced a range of award-winning wines and branched out into beer. Production takes place across a charming (if not entirely practical) set of traditional farm buildings. Victoria shows us where the grapes are pressed, the real ale is brewed and the bottling and labelling take place, before leading us through to the snug tasting room.
Good taste: the Chiltern Valley Winery & Brewery
Can we identify the green fruits in the Bacchus Blend or the buttery mouth-feel in the Oaked Solaris? Umm, probably not, but they’re all delicious.
Then we move on to the ales (more divisive) and liqueurs (spittoons at the ready), before ringing bottles of wine through the till (post-tour prices start from £18) and dashing to get our taxis outside. The tour and tasting take around one-and-a-half hours, costing £22.50 per person.
The River Thames in tranquil mode at Cookham Lock
1.15pm Cookham
Jackie, Lindsay and Maddy drive to Cookham, a village of around 6,000 in Berkshire that was home to the 20th-century painter Stanley Spencer. He trained at the Slade and fought in the First World War for two years. According to the gallery’s steward, Spencer’s work goes for millions at auction today (in 2013, an oil painting of his that shows Jesus preaching from a punt on the Thames sold for £6 million). We can see why. The paintings are quite spooky, often religious and very beautiful. One reimagines the last supper in a red-brick malt house; all of the 12 disciples are barefoot and have knobbly toes.
Scarlett browses the homeware in Marlow’s Susie Watson Designs
1.30pm Marlow
Meanwhile, Joanne, Sophie and Scarlett pull up in well-to-do Marlow and immediately start spending.
As one of Buckinghamshire’s boujiest towns, this Thameside locale is a destination for independent boutiques and upmarket chain stores. We pop into Susie Watson Designs to drool over handmade homeware and fabrics and are drawn into Twenty Three Living, with its mix of Scandi clothing and knick-knacks from UK artists. Sansom Reed is a curated treasure trove of fashion, with brands including Neo Noir, Damson Madder and Nobody’s Child. We also can’t resist nipping into Mint Velvet and resident style queen Joanne comes out with a feather-fringed black top.
2.30pm Cliveden House
Joanne shows off her feathery Mint Velvet purchase
Built in 1666 and formerly home to the Astor family, Cliveden House has hosted powerful personalities and decadent parties for centuries – and had a brief spell as a wartime hospital. A sweeping driveway leads to the showstopping edifice, where we leap out of the car and straight into the burgundy-and-dark-wood interior of what is now a five-star hotel.
Here we tuck into an afternoon tea fit for royalty (Cliveden was once a favourite of Queen Victoria, who would travel up the Thames from Windsor). Top marks for the estate game sausage roll, truffled egg mayo sandwiches and scones delivered in warm little nests to the table (afternoon tea costs from £55 per person).
Next we split up, one group wandering off to explore the National Trust-managed gardens, which encompass 376 magnificent acres. For the rest, it’s cossies on and into the pool where in 1961, a 19-year-old Christine Keeler first met Tory secretary of state for war John Profumo, igniting a scandal that would bring down a prime minister. Nothing so wild for us, although we enjoy a few nippy lengths, before sliding into the outdoor hot tub to watch the full moon rise. The Cliveden clock tower bells tolling 5pm tell us that our carriages (OK, mini cabs) await, so we ditch the fluffy robes and whiz back to Maidenhead station for the return Lizzie Line journey.
The Elizabeth line, which opened in 2022, won last year’s Stirling prize for architecture
6.22pm London Paddington
Back in London, with a bottle of wine, three leftover scones and a new favourite tube line to show for it. Until our next adventure!