Historians may have finally worked out how many penises are on the Bayeux Tapestry

Sarah Hooper

Published April 25, 2025 1:54pm Updated April 25, 2025 1:54pm

The Oxford University professor who counted (and measured) all the PENISES in the Bayeux Tapestry confirms there are 93 - and William the Conqueror's horse has the largest — The tapestry features nearly 100 penises (Picture: Bayeux Tapestry Museum)

A historical row has broken out over the Bayeux Tapestry – after an expert claimed to have discovered an extra member on the famous piece.

Seven years ago, Oxford academic Professor George Garnett claimed to have identified 93 depictions of male genitalia on the world-famous commemoration of the Battle of Hastings in 1066.

Five belonged to men on the tapestry, while 88 belonged to horses, including the one ridden by William the Conqueror, Professor Garnett said.

Now, medieval scholar and expert on Anglo-Saxon nudity, Dr Christopher Monk has claimed he has found a missing penis from Professor Garnett’s total, taking the real figure to 94.

In the original count, the human genitals are all attached to naked figures, but there is one contested depiction of a running man with something hanging low beneath his tunic.

Prof Garnett is firm in his view that this is a scabbard for a sword or dagger, but Doctor Monk is certain it’s his manhood.

‘I am in no doubt that the appendage is a depiction of male genitalia – the missed penis, shall we say?’ he told the HistoryExtra Podcast.

‘The detail is surprisingly anatomically fulsome.’

Podcast host and tapestry expert Dr David Musgrove said: ‘The possibility of there being another penis in the Tapestry is fascinating. It invites us to think again as to why there are these explicit scenes in what is otherwise a story of politics, power and pitched battle.

‘It’s a reminder that this embroidery is a multi-layered artefact that rewards careful study, and remains a wondrous enigma almost a millennium after it was stitched.’

The Bayeux Tapestry depicts the events leading up to the Norman Conquest of England, led by William, Duke of Normandy, challenging Harold II, King of England.

It is nearly 70 metres and is thought to date to the 11th century, within a few years of the battle.

Writing about his original research in 2018, Professor Garnett, of St Hugh’s College, Oxford, said: ‘By my calculations there are 93 penises in what survives of the original tapestry.

‘Four of these are attached to men, and what may be a fifth appears on a soldier’s corpse in the margin below a late stage in the battle of Hastings, as his chain mail is stripped from him. There is also what appears to be a pair of testicles, the penis itself being concealed by a discreetly positioned axe handle.

‘All of these human male genitalia are confined to the upper or lower borders. There are 88 penises depicted on horses, all in the main action; and curiously, none on dogs, or on any of the other many creatures in the main frame or borders.

‘Keeping a tally of penises reveals that the designer of the tapestry had a hitherto unremarked obsession of his own. I say his, because this is just the sort of thing which will be familiar to anyone who has spent any time in a boys’ school, but seems unlikely to have been the product of a female mind.’

Discussing the impact of his research, Professor Garnett told the podcast: ‘I think my academic colleagues were mostly very entertained.